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Fly fishing is an ancient angling method in which artificial flies are tied onto a hook to imitate naturally occurring food. These artificial flies are made out of materials such as fur and feather. Rods are generally light while the lines are heavy in weight, providing the proper weight and momentum for casting. Because of the ease of learning, fly fishing has become an enjoyable past time for many people of all ages.

Fly fishing is most renowned as a method for catching salmon and trout, but is also known for catching pike, panfish, bass and carp as well. Fly fishing can also be used to catch marine species such as: snook, bonefish, striped bass and redfish. There are also reports of fly fisherman expectantly catching species such as bream, rudd and chub while intending to catch trout. For the fisherman who is hoping to catch a variety of tasty species, fly fishing may be the best method.

If you are new to the sport of fly fishing, you may want to study up on the best ways to enjoy this exciting activity. Luckily there are many websites, television shows, and books all geared to help obtain helpful fly fishing tips. Of course one of the easiest ways to gather information is to find a fly fishing partner who has some season fly fishing experience. Many find having a mentor to be helpful as well. It’s extremely helpful to tag along on a fishing trip with an experienced fly fisherman. This way it is easy to notice and absorb some of the methods they employ on a regular basis. Unfortunately this is not an option for everyone so again, check your local video stores or world wide web for more information.

When starting your fly fishing event experts agree you must first determine the environment you will be fishing in. This is important to do even before you begin to gather your equipment. Some people prefer salt water fly fishing over the other options, such as fresh water. There are a plethora of places all over the United States where you can go fly fishing in streams and rivers, which are freshwater flowing environments. There is also the option of fly fishing in ponds and lakes, which still provide flowing water movements and environments.

The next thing to think about before setting out on your fly fishing extravaganza is the proper equipment that will be needed for success. Without the proper equipment you will be unable to properly cast those flies. The proper equipment consists of four parts: a fly fishing pole, line, reel, and of course – the fly. Experts also agree it is important to pack extra supplies because often times a fisherman will break one or more of the components needed to fly fish.

The next hurdle to cross is casting. Casting methods often vary and change depending on the environment in which you are fishing. For instance, saltwater fly fishing often forces the angler to cast further than in freshwater by sheer necessity alone. Another example is fishing in an ocean environment. In order to put your line way beyond the shadow of the space you are occupying you need to cast your line very far away. In a case like this, longer casts will be needed. Saltwater fly fishing rods are generally longer than their freshwater brothers. Shorter casts are in turn made with shorter rods. These rods are useful for fishing in freshwater bodies of water such as: streams, rivers, ponds and lakes.

The type of cast used when fishing varies according to the conditions you are fishing in. The most common cast is the forward cast, where the angler whisks the fly into the air, back over the shoulder until the line is nearly straight, then forward, using primarily the forearm. The objective of this motion is to “load” the rod tip with stored energy, then transmit that energy to the line, resulting in the fly line being cast for an appreciable distance. Casting without landing the fly on the water is known as ‘false casting’, and may be used to pay out line, to dry a soaked fly, or to reposition a cast. Other casts are the roll cast, the single- or double-haul, the tuck cast, and the side- or curve-cast.

Dropping the fly onto the water and its subsequent movement on or beneath the surface is one of fly fishing’s most difficult aspects according to experts. In short, the angler is attempting to cast in such a delicate way that the line lands smoothly on the water and the fly appears as natural as possible – a difficult task for many. At a certain point, if a fish does not strike, depending upon the action of the fly in the wind or current, the angler picks up the line to make another presentation – all the while keeping trying to keep their moves very delicate. When fly fishing it is extremely important to remember patience and fluid line movement.

On the other hand of being patient is getting that so desired catch. If a fish strikes, the angler pulls in their fly fishing line while raising the rod tip. This “sets” the hook in the tasty fishs mouth. The fish is played either by hand, where the angler continues to hold the fly line in one hand to control the tension applied to the fish, or by reeling up the slack in the line and then using the hand to act as a controlling drag on the reel. Some fly reels have an adjustable, mechanical drag system to control line tension during a fish’s run which comes in very handy to inexperienced and seasoned fly fisherman.

Of course, no amount of reading online can really teach you what you need to know for a fly fishing extravaganza. In fact many experts agree that nothing can replace professional, qualified instruction. Since this method is often pricey many feel they benefit from chartered fishing trips geared toward beginners or by learning from example of seasoned fly fisherman. Luckily many agree that if you find an experienced fly fisherman, more than likely they’ll love to take you under their wing – or fishing pole in this case.

Christine Beals is a professional writer who provides fly fishing tips for Fly Fishing Dish – a blog from the Go! Blog Network.

Increase your profit potential by identifying – and avoiding – these 11 marketing mistakes.

MONSTROUS Marketing Mistake Number 1: Sinking a Fortune Into an Unproven Product

Is your business idea built on market research or a hunch?

Entrepreneurs often fall in love with their products or services before they determine if there’s a real market, and they throw fistfuls of money into the venture. If you, your spouse, your uncle, and your neighbor think you’ve got a winning idea, that’s simply not enough qualified input to run to the bank and drain your savings account!

Avoid this mistake by:

• Conducting your detective work (research).
• Testing your business idea with the real marketplace.

MONSTROUS Marketing Mistake Number 2: Believing That “If You Build It, They Will Come”

Do you think you have a product or service that will practically sell itself?

Trust me – you don’t.

There is a misconception among small business owners that, with the right product or service, your customers will simply “find” you when you open your doors for business. Whether you have a physical storefront on a corner lot in the busiest part of downtown, or a graphically pleasing online storefront offering easy access to your hot products and services, your customers will not find you if you do not market to them.

The day you open for business is the day you put on your “marketer’s hat” and never take it off. You must consistently move product, or schedule service time.

To stay in business you must profit.

To profit you must sell.

To sell you must market.

The good news is that, with a marketing strategy, you take the control out of your potential customers’ hands and put it into your own. If you have a product that will “practically sell itself,” then your marketing job will be easy. Just remember that the job must still be done.

Avoid this mistake by:

• Defining your niche market and USP (Unique Selling Proposition) that differentiates you from your competition.
• Developing a marketing action plan and strategy to reach your niche market with your USP message.

MONSTROUS Marketing Mistake Number 3: Trying to Reinvent the Wheel

Marketing is an age-old practice with some very basic principles. Yet, I’m sure you’ve read many marketing information products that stress the importance of being innovative and creative with your marketing efforts. It’s easy to get caught up in the innovation process and forget that the REAL focus should be on results.

Avoid this mistake by:

• Emulating success instead of trying to create something completely new. Please note that I am not saying, “copy” what others are doing. Look at the basic structure of a tactic, campaign, advertisement, or event and use the same formula as a basis for developing your own tactics.
• Realizing great marketing ideas are used over and over again with just the right twist to make them fit a specific business. Focus on results, and choose imitation over innovation to create your own twist on a proven, winning technique.

MONSTROUS Marketing Mistake Number 4: Over-Preparing and Doing Nothing

The fear of failure can be powerful. So powerful that we do everything we can think of to prevent it. Yet, there is a point at which we are so busy preparing, organizing, and researching to prevent failure that we never get around to the actual marketing of the business. Here are two things to remember:

1. Activity is not productivity.
2. In order to sell a million of something, you have to sell the first ONE.

Avoid this mistake by:

• Doing something! If you believe in your business and have done your detective work, it’s time to dive into the marketing pool. Start small, track results and build from there.
• Not being afraid to make a mistake. Mistakes are the entry to success. At the very least, a failed promotion means you have SUCCESSFULLY determined what promotion does not work. And, to learn what does NOT work is a valuable tool in getting you closer to discovering what WILL work.

So, go ahead. Fail a little. It will make your eventual successes even sweeter.

MONSTROUS Marketing Mistake Number 5: Boredom

When I was working for an ad agency many years ago, I had one client that was running an extremely successful ad campaign. After about six months, I received a phone call from the client. He wanted to develop an entirely new campaign. When I asked, “why?” he simply said, “I’m bored with the one we have.”

What?

That client may have had the money to spend on a new campaign due to “boredom” but you and I usually don’t. Yet, I’ve often seen my small business clients switch promotions for the same reason. This is detrimental to your business!

“Losing money” is a reason.

“Boredom” is not.

Avoid this mistake by:

• Remembering that, what is old to you, is new to an untapped target market. If you have a promotion that is consistently getting you results, stick with it until results show you its time for change.
• Testing new promotions without abandoning the current one. Then track results. Never swap a current promotion with a new one that hasn’t been tested.

MONSTROUS Marketing Mistake Number 6: Relying on Networking to Generate Sales Leads

Joining the Chamber of Commerce and schmoozing at association meetings can put you in contact with vendors and possible joint venture partners, and will be invaluable exposure for you as a community supporter – but it will rarely generate substantial sales leads.

Everyone else who attends these “meet and greet” assemblies is there to do the same thing you are. You may be able to make some valuable contacts for future ventures and promotions, but one-on-one networking is time-consuming and results are unpredictable.

Avoid this mistake by:

• Treating networking opportunities the same as any other marketing tactic. Track results by determining your costs and measuring your payback.

MONSTROUS Marketing Mistake Number 7: Doing What Your Competitors Do

It’s important to be aware of what your competitors are offering, but do not let it dictate the strategy you use for your own business.

If your competitor wants to be the low price leader, let him. Don’t try to become the “lower price” leader. Chances are this will lead you to financial problems because it will thrust you into an ugly price war.

If your competitor wants to tout low prices, then you focus on value. Bargain hunters don’t necessarily want the lowest price. They want the best VALUE. Make what you have to offer something of value.

Avoid this mistake by:

• Finding an unmet need or want of your target market, and fill it to differentiate your products and services from your competitors.
• Giving customers a reason to choose you over your competitors. Define your USP, and identify your niche market.

MONSTROUS Marketing Mistake Number 8: Not Targeting a Specific Market

If you believe your market is “everybody,” you will struggle to attract people who will buy from you. The value of target (niche) marketing is one of the toughest sells I make to my clients. They understand the logic of it, but the “fear of losing a potential customer” gets the best of them.

Avoid this mistake by:

• Viewing the practice of niche marketing as inclusive, not exclusive.

Think of your business as part of a person’s support group. It’s logical to say, “Everybody needs a support group so my business should attract everyone.” But, will it? People – your customers – want to go to a support business that understands their specific concerns, needs, and wants. Make sure you ARE that business by targeting a niche market.

MONSTROUS Marketing Mistake Number 9: Targeting a Market You Can’t Reach or One That Can’t Afford You

Targeting a niche market is the smartest way to market. Yet, targeting a market that is too specific will limit your ability to succeed long term. For example, a market that might be too specific would be: female pilots under the age of 35 who fly ONLY New York to London flights. That’s a pretty narrow market to sustain your business in the long term unless you can capture the ENTIRE market with a product or service that has a high profit point and customers need to use or replace it often.

In that same vein, a market that is begging for the service or product you have but cannot afford it will also be a business impossible to sustain. Never compete for someone’s rent money. Your target market must have the means to buy your products and services.

Avoid this mistake by:

• Creating your customer profile to identify characteristics of your potential buyers,
• Identifying a niche market,
• Examining the long term potential for new and repeat sales.

MONSTROUS Marketing Mistake Number 10: Focusing On Acquiring New Customers Instead of Promoting to Current or Previous Customers

When you first start a business you have little choice but to focus on gaining new customers. The cost of finding those new customers can be expensive, which is one reason it is so important to really target a specific niche. However, once you’ve made just one sale, you’re ready to start looking at other marketing options.

Wouldn’t you like to:

… slash your marketing costs by half or more?

… reach proven buyers for your service or products?

That little goldmine of proven buyers available to you “on the cheap” is already yours in the form of current and previous customers.

Any respected marketing guru, past or present, online or offline, will tell you that the biggest asset your company has is your customer base.

Avoid this mistake by:

• Realizing that, when a sale is finalized, it is the beginning of your relationship with that customer, not the end.
• Offering additional products or services to current customers. If you don’t have your own to offer them, then develop a referral, joint venture or product bundling program so you can reap profits from your already-interested (and buying) customers.

MONSTROUS Marketing Mistake Number 11: Not Systematically Following Up on Leads

The least expensive part of business is making the sale. The most expensive is generating leads – finding the people who are interested in what you have.

Once you find people who express an interest in what you have to offer – whether they buy from you or not – you MUST develop a follow up system that will keep marketing to those interested prospects. A person who has expressed interest in your products and services is far more likely to eventually buy from you than someone who did not respond at all!

Avoid this mistake by:

• Curbing the tendency to become obsessed with generating more leads until you have exhausted the ones you already have.
• Developing an easy, systematic follow up for leads, designed to convert a “maybe” into a “yes.”

About The Author

Susan Carter helps business owners “do more with less” to operate and market their small and growing businesses. She is the author of How To Make Your Business Run Without You, and SPLASH Marketing for Overworked Small Business Owners. Carter offers FREE book chapters, and distributes free business-building advice in her twice-monthly ezine, SuccessExpress Press, available at http://www.successideas.com susancarter@successideas.com

When the first human being, in Eden or on earth, covered his body with leaves, or later with an animal skin, the fashion industry was founded at that time. Though we are not familiar with the style and attire of that time until the ancient civilizations preserved few images in the solidity of rocks, through cave paintings and through rock-cut sculptures.

Terra Cotta figurines of the oldest Harappan Age show interesting headdresses that can be compared with any modern hairstyle with a heavy look. The Dancing Girl of Mohenjo Daro with bangles in her arms is not behind any fashion sculpt of any age. While no one can deny the allure and glamour of Cleopatra; a woman with great political skills and a long nose, who crafted many fashion styles from jewelry to outfits of the great Egyptian Empire of Scissors.

But fashion is not only associated to women always! In ancient times of Cleopatra, Scissors always wore clothes that were royal, expensive, stylistic, attractive and special. At the same Egyptian soil, the Pharaohs were never behind. The great Biblical Character of Moses, if taken as an Egyptian Prince, was always a portrayed, in tales and later in movies, in a charismatic outfit.

While in the Western part of the globe, the Greeks and Romans not only marked high standards in Art, Architecture, and Warfare, but their unique and intricate concepts of a perfect and godlike human body, especially of males, supported the appealing army uniforms and court-wears.

The supernatural characters of illustrious Greek, Egyptian and Indian Mythologies did provide extraordinary range of apparel; well preserved in the form of painting and sculpture.

These ancient models are still the greatest sources of inspiration for modern day fashion designers and the origins of the evolved form of cultural trends prevailed through continents from Australia to America and from Asia to Africa.

Cultural influences are stronger when we consider the economic aspect of the fashion industry. Business needs market where it can present fresh ideas and products in every new day. Although in this global age, acculturation is very much on. But even then there are many cultural aspects that can instigate or impede certain trends. A colorful bikini is a great fashion market item in Western or secular and modern cultures, but it is almost a taboo in some rigid and fundamental areas. Contrary to that, a veil is popular in fundamental countries, but has no market in secular or modern world. However, so many fashion articles could get the status of cross-cultural ambition. Especially in ornaments, there is not much difference across the globe with exception of little diversity in shape, material and style. Earrings, bracelets, pendants, bangles and rings are always, and everywhere, in fashion since ages having big market scope in all societies and cultures.

On the individual level, fashion is not just a simple word or an uncomplicated attitude, or even an overwhelming desire. Fashion is a multifarious dogma that can influence an individual in many ways.

“As process it is [fashion] sustained through some complex amalgamation of inspiration, imitation and institutionalization, all of which seem necessary, even though the nature and degree of their fusion is, as we can infer from fashion history, quite variable.” (Fred Davis. Fashion, Culture and Identity. P. 123)

Therefore, the multifaceted incorporation of fashion, where force an individual at the same time, it also institutionalize itself on many grounds. This institutionalization is not only at the academic level, but due to its capacity of holding an individual, society, or even the whole world has created a huge market for investors.

This feature has made fashion, throughout past decades, an industry with small to bulk product possibility that can be marketed all around the world. It attracted many business tycoons and groups of companies to invest in fashion industry, or to label some of their products as fashion products. This idea initially covered the clothes brand but soon after, it encompassed every utility of everyday life. From earrings to pendants, from watches to glasses, from shoes to wallets, from perfumes to hairstyles, everything was produced and marketed, exported and imported on such a huge scale that it actually influenced the economy of various countries. Apart from the individual fashion, bathroom accessories, kitchen, bedroom and bathroom décor, landscaping of gardens and lawns, furniture, automobiles, electronics or even language accents, everything got under the broad term of fashion. Products singularly and brands collectively helped and polished lifestyle across the continents. So, inevitably fashion market got vitality.

Despite quality, comfort and durability the exclusivity of a product and its luxurious look are the reasons that produce scope for a product to be marketed. That is the market policy of almost every fashion company revolves around these features.

Simultaneously, the marketing and availability of various products have developed the customers’ sense of selection and exposure with a comparative buying power. Fashion is not always brand conscious; it is item based as well. Sometime, the need for a particular item may force us to go beyond the brand-range and select something less popular. This is a challenge all the famous brands have to cope with. Ian Griffiths and Nicola White, in their edited work: The Fashion Business- Theory, Practice, Image, commented on item shopping as:

“Item shopping is still very much part of our lives, but market saturation has taken its toll and replacement purchases of core product continue to decline. Added to this is the changing profile of the customer, who, through constant exposure, is becoming wiser, more astute, more confident in mixing products and consequently, likely to be less brand loyal.”

The customer satisfaction is very important in the fashion industry; either it is attained by making customer needful for an upcoming product through advertising, or by providing him what he is striving for. The former caused the creative and design department to experiment with new ideas and shapes while the latter forced the quality controlled production with maintained standards.

Modern day fashion is rapid, short lived, more corporate in its structure, and psychological than ever before. Due to better and quick sources of communication and information, the international or external markets are open for every fashion company to do business, multinational companies can be found with variety of products in all the continents with complex network and appropriate marketing policies according to the socio-cultural requirements of a certain country. Especially, when we talk about the couture and cosmetics, contemporary trends are getting more and more cross-cultural due to viewership of various fashion channels on TV. This is far quicker source than the print media. So, the skills and concepts are also crossing the geographical and ideological boundaries of different parts of the world regardless of ethnic rigidity and conventionalism. That is one reason that fashion is also taken as the reflection of the progress in some developing countries. Fred Divis described clothing as a visual metaphor in his compilation; Fashion, Culture and Identity:

“As visual metaphor the clothing that is dress (one should perhaps distinguish between the two) is capable of communicating many things including something as subtle, for example, as the wearer’s reflexive awareness…”

This is what has made fashion companies responsible for customer care at the same time, when they were thinking to be profitable. You can find friendly policies of such companies towards its employees, suppliers and customers. Together with the advertising campaigns, Fashion Weeks with new designs and colors, serve additionally to promote new concepts. These Fashion Weeks not only display an array of new products, but also serve to communicate with the audience visually. Dresses and accessories worn by models doing catwalk, are more lively and enthralling than the mere display on mannequins. Normally with a range of Fall, Spring, Summer and Winter collection, Fashion Weeks boost market demands and promote its associated businesses as well. Fashion Shows now have become cultural events which are happily sponsored by the corporate sector.

At modern day fashion companies, there is an underlying and long standing commitment to ethical trading, based upon the belief, that business can be both profitable and responsible. So, fashion companies believe that building meaningful long term relationships with employees, suppliers and communities is good business practice for them and is what the customers expect popular brands. This is, and always has been, the founding principle of different brands as Corporate-Social responsibility.

Fashion is not only a phenomenon for luxurious life, but this concept deals with humanity as well. True meaning of fashion is to put life at ease and to facilitate humanity with its respective life style. That is why, modern fashion companies are conscious for the fact of supporting special people of society with special needs. This phenomenon is causing fashion to be responsive towards special people.

Therefore, the market and its demands may vary from community to community. For example, the range may get different in a London store in comparison with the variety at a Singapore or China store. No doubt, in the modern world, ‘East meets West’ but climate, culture, sociology and psychological needs can force fashion designers and companies to provide a vast canvas for the diversity of customers worldwide. But there are few items that are evergreen. Jeans and Bags are such commodities that are always in demand and ask for the latest styles and comfort at the same time.

Modern day fashion is global, human, culture and society friendly. At one end it emphasizes collective psychology and trends of a society, and at the other end, it deals with the individual needs of customer care. Healthy trends, balanced life, and busy lifestyle are, what the modern fashion companies have to consider deeply. It is no more a matter of looking good and attractive, true fashion and accessories join comfort and trend together. Fashion companies are somehow, have become institutes that are shaping behaviors, psychology and healthy and innovative thinking. The concept of being relaxed and making others too, by wearing good looking, comfortable, trendy and eye-catching outfits in soothing or energetic colors, is the order of the modern day.

“The obstacles to recognition which they [elements] interpose give an extra fillip to the process of the recognition and increase our pleasure by providing a chain of difficulties to be overcome.”

(Carl Thurston. The Structure of Art.p 39)

Personal Trainer to the Stars!!

Celebrity Personal Trainers!!

Who are these amazing personal trainers that train the stars, professional athletes, celebrities, rock musicians, and the rest of the rich and famous?

Well, being a personal trainer and a perfectionist, I did some research to find out who they are and how one becomes a personal trainer to the stars. The research I uncovered about these so-called celebrity personal trainers that charge fees of $300+ per hour for their expertise indicates that, like the rest of the personal training industry, there are no requirements of any sort to become a celebrity trainer. Most of these celebrity trainers simply happened to be in the right place at the right time.

I had a close friend who was in a car accident. Since the insurance covered it, he went to see a chiropractor after the accident. During the first few visits, he and the chiropractor got to talking, and they hit it off. The chiropractor happened to know some celebrities, and just by knowing him, my friend got a gig training a star. Fortunately, my friend had a good knowledge base and was great at working with people, although the chiropractor had no real way of knowing this at the time. There was something in it for the chiropractor, though, in that he got a cut for recommending the my friend to the celebrity.

Mangers of celebrities would be doing their star clients a favor if they used a little more caution when hiring personal trainers and the like. As with any referral, a thorough screening and background check are in order before simply hiring a trainer on some other celebrity’s say-so. Unfortunately for the client, the endorsement by another famous person is often all it takes for an unqualified musclehead, who knows virtually nothing about how to work with people or train the human body, to get in the door.

Just Because They’re Famous Doesn’t Mean They’re Knowledgeable

I want to state that I am by no means bashing personal trainers who work with stars, or any individual’s personal trainer — although it’s always important to find and hire a trainer with the highest level of education, experience, and certifications. Unfortunately, it’s not necessarily the people with the best qualifications, but rather those with the best marketing and biggest mouths who usually get all the attention. Take note: This DOES NOT MEAN they know a hill of beans about training. The thing about the lack of regulation in this field is that you don’t really have to be very well-qualified to get a job doing it. If you’re good at causing a big commotion and conveying confidence about your ability to make people feel good, you will succeed in the business, whether or not you can actually deliver on your promise.

Take a look at the industry and you’ll see that celebrity personal trainers are a dime a dozen now. All the biggest stars — Britney Spears, P‑Diddy, J‑Lo, Oprah, Madonna, Tom Cruise — have personal trainers. Even the trainers themselves are getting famous now, just because of their celebrity clients. Two of the most celebrated personal trainers are Bob Green, Oprah’s trainer, and Gunter, trainer to many celebrities.

I have watched many of these personal trainers on the news and listened to their advice about which diets work and which are the best nutrition products on the market. Trust me, their biggest gift is their ability to get in front of a camera to sell their products, because their advice is questionable, at best. Still, no one can argue their ability to generate millions of dollars because of their proximity to the rich and famous. The sad part is that they’re making a large portion of their money by exploiting millions of uneducated, unmotivated people, playing on their unrealistic desires to look like the next celebrity on the big screen.

We’re Not All Going to Look Like Supermodels or Professional Athletes

Let’s say you work really hard and you’re in the best shape of your life, but you still don’t look like your idealized image of the perfect man or woman. People, let’s be honest with each other. Not everyone is going to look like Pamela Anderson or Brad Pitt. Genetics play a big role in our looks, not to mention the cosmetic enhancements created through plastic surgery, air brushing, and camera tricks. Being healthy and fit doesn’t mean you will never have a little fat on your body. Looking great and feeling great without the aid of drugs, cosmetics, and surgery will take you to better places than any amount of fame will ever give you.

Before you decide you want to look like a cover girl or a superjock, it’s really important to get comfortable with yourself exactly as you are. Sure, you’re going to feel better as you lose weight and build muscle, but the you inside is going to be the same. Yes, your shapely new build may inspire confidence, but the raw materials of your personality are going to be exactly the same. Are you fundamentally happy with your life and who you are now — or are you waiting around for external improvements to make you feel better on the inside? Just like the roots of a plant determine the quality of its fruit, it’s the invisible, internal stuff that determines the happiness of your external life.

Celebrities Whine & Complain Just Like Everybody Else

As a society, we’ve been trained to look up to people whose job it is to pretend everyday to be someone other than who they are. And because of the glitz and glamour associated with their Hollywood lives, we put them up on pedestals and give extra weight to what they say — for no reason other than the fact that they’re famous.

I hate to break it to you, but I have trained some celebrities and stars — and the truth is they are no different than you or I. Granted, it’s their job to look great all the time, so they spend a ton of time and money making sure they keep on looking good. But they whine and complain just as much as the rest of us. Wouldn’t you love to get paid to look good, rather than paying someone to help you look better?

Once upon a time, only celebrities hired personal trainers, in part because only celebrities could afford them, but also because looking good was viewed primarily as the arena of the famous. It’s good to know we regular folks are getting smarter, in that we’re beginning to realize just how important personal training is in the lives of everyone, not just famous people. If you think about how important a healthy body is to every aspect of your life, you might come to realize that a good trainer is more important than your hair dresser, your CPA, or even your mechanic. In fact, a personal trainer is a mechanic — only the machine he or she works on is not a car, but the most important machine you will ever own: your body.

Personal trainers help keep you healthy by motivating you — and the celebrities — to get in shape and keep off the fat.

The Results of Quick-Fix Shape-Up Programs Never Last

I am constantly amazed when I hear celebrities and their personal trainers promoting their diets and/or nutritional products. If the alleged “professionals” holding the media limelight still don’t know how the body functions (and far too many of them don’t), it’s no wonder our nation just keeps on getting fatter. There are two significant problems with quick-fix formats for training and nutrition. First, these extreme exercise and diet regimens that quickly get stars in phenomenal shape for a movie role or a tour are terrible for the body. Yet many celebrities are willing to do whatever it takes to get in shape as quickly as possible because they know their jobs could be on the line. Secondly, regular people, fans of these fabulous-looking stars, try to follow the celebrities’ diet and exercise programs, only to wind up failing, both because they cannot keep up the extreme regimens and because the programs are unnatural and impossible to sustain for any length of time.

Remaining super-lean year-round can be challenging, especially if you’re on an exercise program that leans you down in as little as 8 to 12 weeks, such as a bodybuilder’s diet and exercise regimen. This process can get you looking phenomenal for a day or two, but I guarantee it won’t last much beyond that, because our bodies simply cannot function at that level for any sustained period of time. However, you can achieve these results and stay super-lean year-round with a lifestyle change that incorporates healthy meals and regular exercise. A program like this is geared to burn fat as opposed to primarily building muscle, unlike the regimens celebrity personal trainers often put their star clients on.

The thing is, short-term training programs to get in shape for a one- or two-day event (like a bodybuilding contest) do work, but because they occur at an unnaturally rapid pace, they cannot be carried out for any real length of time, at least not without doing serious harm to the body. But sure enough, most celebrity personal training programs are designed around this quick-fix process because so few personal trainers really understand anatomy and human kinetics, the science of how the human body functions. There are well-educated trainers — they just happen to be unfortunately rare. I have worked in the industry for many years, and seldom encounter other trainers who have degrees or even quality certifications, or who continue to develop their education and expand their knowledge about human function and performance. In this unregulated industry, no one is checking to see if personal trainers are performing any kind of continuing ed — and I promise you, most are not.

All this is not to say that you should not hire a personal trainer. Hell, even personal trainers who know hardly anything about creating a quality exercise or nutrition program still can create an environment where you can get in great shape. They can motivate you to achieve better health and make much further progress than you would likely ever accomplish on your own. Almost any personal trainer is better than no personal trainer. Almost.

Differing Levels of Training Experience — and Results

Certainly there are people reading this who feel they can do it — the fitness program and healthy diet — all on their own. More power to anyone who can create a healthy eating plan, incorporate a weight training routine, and practice a regular cardio regimen on their own. Please know, however, you are the extreme exception. For many people, the problem isn’t in creating the program or even finding the discipline to commit to it. The problem is that in trying to do it all themselves, they are creating the wrong program for the results they wish to achieve. These are the folks who train regularly, yet see little or no results. They then get frustrated and quit, thinking they have tried everything when it comes to losing fat, that they simply must not be disciplined enough — when, in reality, discipline has very little to do with it.

There also are those who think they know a lot because they’ve achieved great results on their own, when in actuality, they’ve just been blessed with good genes and would benefit by doing almost any kind of exercise. Most of your models, movie stars, and celebrities fall into this category, so any exercise and nutritional program a personal trainer gives them is likely to work like a charm. Under the guidance of a knowledgeable personal trainer and certified nutritionist, these people would see more and better results than they had ever dreamed possible. And the best part would be that the results would last, rather than simply providing the short-term fix they’ve become used to.

Lastly, of course, are the people who don’t care about their health, don’t have time to exercise, or never exercise, because exercise hurts, they hate to sweat, or their self-esteem is in the toilet and they figure it’s a waste of time to even try. While this sort of personal apathy toward preserving one’s health through exercise and proper eating may seem like no one’s business but the individual’s, it really is a very selfish act. Treating your body well, including getting regular exercise and eating healthy food, is the most unselfish thing you can do. Think about it — if you don’t take care of yourself now, sooner than later, others will have to take care of you. Since you were too lazy, busy, or depressed to invest the time or energy in staying healthy, you will, inevitably, make others suffer.

A Qualified Trainer Will Tailor a Program to Meet Your Needs

If companies and governments were wise, personal trainers would be mandatory and health insurance would cover them. Well, a guy can dream, can’t he? Seriously, even if you only see a trainer once a week — or even once a month — to check in and make sure you’re performing your exercises properly, it’s better than not seeing one at all.

Take the time to do the research, and then invest in a qualified trainer who is knowledgeable about how to help you achieve your personal goals. If you have a special need — a back injury, joint problems, limited range of motion — find someone who can address your issues specifically. Don’t jump on the latest celebrity trainer bandwagon, just because the person is a trainer to the stars. Find a personal trainer who knows how to train your human body and get you results.

Fame Doesn’t Equal Expertise — Particularly in the Health & Fitness Industry

Celebrity personal trainers, spokesmodels, movie stars, athletes, and other rich and famous people probably got where they are because they’re great at what they do. That does not mean you should follow their advice about health and nutrition. You probably wouldn’t ask a plumber advice about how to change your car’s oil, would you? Likewise, celebrities may look good, but that doesn’t mean they — even celebrity trainers — know anything about proper exercise and nutrition. Hire a health, fitness, and nutrition professional. They are the only people whose advice you should take regarding these subjects. Even medical doctors generally are not the best advocates for proper fitness and nutrition, because they are trained in specific fields and seldom are aware of how all the parts of the body work and move in cooperation.

Have you ever noticed how some of the famous people dishing health advice are not even in that great of shape? Why would you take advice from someone who isn’t in peak physical condition? That’s like getting your hair cut by a stylist with a bowl cut or having a gap-toothed orthodontist install your braces. Not to mention that anyone can look great, but still feel terrible because they achieved their looks through an unhealthy method.

Research Pays Off When Searching for a Qualified Trainer

The thing is, you don’t know what you don’t know. As a result, many people fall into the trap of buying the baloney stars like Britney Spears, Oprah, and Dr. Phil are selling. And even though a star might actually have a fabulous, incredibly knowledgeable trainer, a lot can be misinterpreted between the time the trainer offers exercise or diet specifics to his celebrity client and the time that celebrity repeats the info to his or her adoring public. It’s like that game of Telephone you played when you were a kid — by the time the information reaches you, it has turned into misinformation.

How do you know who to believe anyway? One star says they got great results by simply lifting weights and eating fewer calories. The next celebrity says they lost tons of weight by eating a low-fat diet high in protein. Another famous somebody swears by a daily swim, lots of veggies, and whole lot of good carbs. Arghhhhhh!!!! It all sounds confusing as hell. And, in a way, it is.

A program that’s right for a size-2 supermodel probably is not right for a heavy stay-at-home mom who is just now learning to incorporate any exercise into her day. The proper program for an individual depends on his or her biochemistry and the specific way their body functions. Understanding human kinetics is not as easy as A-B-C. When it comes to the human body, there may be many underlying reasons why one person begins a simple walking program and, voila, they look phenomenal, while another person runs, lifts weights, and kills themselves in the gym, only to step on the scale and find they’ve gained another pound.

The human body is awash in mysteries, and a good personal trainer will help you solve yours so you can lose all the fat you want and add all the muscle you desire. Again, personal training is all about you and your results. And even if all your exercise and effort don’t drop a pound off you — if you see no noticeable changes — know that the exercise is benefiting your body and your health, and it would be stupid to discontinue your program. Rather than quit, find someone to help you fine-tune your regimen so you can begin to see the results from all your hard work.

The main thing is this: Don’t follow someone’s advice just because they claim to be a personal trainer to the stars or charge $300 an hour. None of that means their program will get you the results you want. There are no healthy quick fixes. Get on a quality exercise program and eat properly, period. Don’t waste time, money, or energy, only to become frustrated. Do the research and hire a professional who can give you sensible advice that will get you on your way to looking good and feeling great.

Mangers and Agents for Celebrity Personal Trainers: Consult with a professional call me and I can find you the best personal trainer for your star, celebrity, Athlete, or yourself.

Scott White is a certified personal trainer and nutritionist located in Scottsdale, Arizona. For more information about nutrition and fitness, reach Scott at 480-628-1607 or swhite@personalpowertraining.net. Also: [http://www.personalpowetraining.net].

Corporate Blogging Alphabet – What Is It?

I built this alphabet to showcase what I think are the benefits and best practices of corporate blogging. Not all of these entries will apply to every individual blogging scenario, but they all apply to corporate blogging in general. So here you have them, corporate blogging benefits and best practices … from A to Z.

Accountable

Accountability applies to corporate blogging in two primary ways. With single-author blogs (such as CEO blogs), the author can inspire trust among readers by “owning” his or her commentary. But companies also assume a certain level of accountability for all blogs under their umbrella, regardless of disclosures to to the contrary. So blogging accountability must be carefully considered at both the individual and corporate level.

Believable

Used properly, a corporate blog or CEO blog can make a company more believable. And in the low-trust, post-Enron world of corporate skepticism, a little believability goes a long way. Use your blog to tell an honest story in a passionate way.

Candid

A common mistake in corporate blogging is when organizations use the blog as “website, part two,” shoveling press releases and other corporate literature onto the blog. To achieve the believability mentioned above, a corporate blog must take on the candid, heartfelt voice of the author. Sure, it takes courage to do this (and probably a set of corporate blogging guidelines), but your readers will reward you by becoming advocates.

Direct

Corporate blogs are direct. You write your message, click the “Publish” button, and your words are directly viewable across the Internet. This removes intermediaries from the corporate communication chain. There are no journalists or editors to put their own spin on things. The message goes from the author directly to the audience. Never again will your message be diluted or mis-aligned (unless you do that yourself).

Enthusiastic

In my opinion, only enthusiastic bloggers should be allowed to represent the company. Half-hearted commentary stands out like a purple elephant in the corporate blogosphere. This kind of commentary does more harm than good, whether it comes from the CEO, the communications chief, or Joe Employee. Enthusiasm comes across in blog posts — and it’s contagious.

Flexible

One of the great things about blogs is the versatility with which they can be used. A corporate blog, for example, can be used internally or externally. It can be a news channel, a customer-feedback forum, an educational tool, or a combination of these things.

Google-friendly

And Yahoo-friendly, and MSN-friendly, etc. A corporate blog can help you increase your search engine visibility in a number of ways. For one thing, a blog gives you an easy way to expand your website with new content. If you blog daily for a year, you’ve got 365 new pages of topical content (and 365 new items for people to find through search engines). Blogs are also more “social” than websites, so in time a well-written blog will acquire links from other blogs. This kind of link popularity does wonders for your search engine ranking.

Happening

Nine times out of ten, a corporate blog is more “happening” than its website counterpart. Blogs are easier to update than a regular website. And when you update a blog often with quality content, it becomes an active resource that people are more inclined to revisit.

Informative

When you keep your customers well informed on new products, services or “behind the scenes” company happenings, you increase the likelihood of future business from those customers. Corporate blogging is a simple but effective way to keep people informed.

Jargon-free

Generally, corporate blogs are not the place for corporate speak. At least, not a customer-facing corporate blog. Save that language for your annual report. Business blogs evolved from online diaries, single-author sources of information and insight. Much of this plain-speak expectation carries over to corporate blogs, so the potential power of blogging for business purposes lies within the blog’s frankness, not its jargon.

Knowledgeable

Use your corporate blog to show readers how knowledgeable you are on your subject. When your readers see how much information you have to share on a subject, they’ll recommend your blog to others who are interested in the subject. These are the kinds of readers you want. Just remember, some of your readers will know as much about the subject as you do. So check your facts before posting.

Limitless

Corporate blogs can be configured in endless ways to serve endless roles. They can stand alone, be part of a website, or be part of a larger network of blogs. Because the technical aspects of a corporate blog are limitless, so too are the uses for the blog.

Manageable

Blogs reduce the technical side of web publishing to such a degree that anyone can blog, regardless of their web experience. Blogs are so manageable, in fact, that even a large web presence built on blogging technology can be managed by a single individual. In this way, blogs are only an initial burden on the IT department. Once a blog is setup, it can be managed by the author alone.

Non-invasive

Corporate blogs “pull” readers to the message, rather than “push” the message to the reader. People can sign up for a blog in total privacy, simply by pulling the blog’s RSS feed into their feed reader. In this way, corporate blogs are non-invasive for readers. The readers come to the blog — the blog is not thrust upon them, like other forms of corporate communication. As long as blogs adhere to this non-invasive, respectful approach, they will be held in higher esteem than other communication channels like email.

Operational

Corporate blogs are more than simple communications tools. With their versatility and ease of use, a corporate blog can server operational roles. This might include internal collaboration (like an intranet) or outward instruction (like an interactive Q&A forum). Blogs can be an active part of your organization’s daily operations.

Purposeful

The key to a good blogging experience is to have a purpose. Sure, you can plunge right into corporate blogging and figure out your purpose as you go. That’s part of the appeal. But your blog will be more effective (and easier to produce) if you have a blogging plan and purpose. Maybe your blogging purpose is to educate readers on what goes on behind the scenes at your company. Maybe you want to increase your visibility on the Web. Or maybe the CEO wants to share his ideas on the business to foster interaction. Fill in the blanks as needed, just be sure you have a purpose behind your blogging efforts.

Qualitative and Quantitative

When corporate blogging is done well, it has both a quantitative and qualitative affect. Because blogs are easy to publish, they help you increase the quantity of content on your website. This increases your blog’s value to readers, as well as its visibility to search engines. If the content is also useful and informative to your key audience, the blog adds quality. A well-managed corporate blog can enhance your web presence by adding both quantity and quality.

Reusable

Blog content can be reused for a variety of purposes. For example, if you expand on a blog post (or compile several blog posts), you can create articles that you can syndicate online. This will help you grow your web presence and even more. This is one of the strategies I teach through my blogging guide mentioned at the end of this article. Another example of reusing blog content — Seth Godin’s book Small Is the New Big is simply a compilation of his blog posts over the last few years.

Straightforward

Okay, so this is somewhat repetitive of ‘C’ for candid. But it’s worth repeating. The most popular of the corporate and CEO blogs reached their level of popularity by being straightforward. And here, I’m referring to both the design and the content of the corporate blog. Blogs that are “overly designed” don’t really look like blogs at all. They look like corporate websites, which (I believe) takes away some of their candidness and authenticity. The same is true of blog content. Blog postings that are straightforward and candid will generate more trust, interaction and “buzz” among the blog’s readers than thinly-veiled corporate speak.

Thoughtful

The best corporate blogs are thoughtful. I don’t mean thoughtful in the sense of “kind,” although kindness goes a long way on the Web. I mean thoughtful as in “full of thought.” Blogs with a lot of “fluff” don’t fare well in the corporate blogosphere. So be sure you put some thought into your blog’s content.

Usable

Your corporate blog should be easy to navigate and read. In fact, any blog should be easy to use, or any website for that matter. Web readers and researches are skilled at hopping from site to site. They don’t need much of a reason to bail out on you, and they’ll do just that if your blog is hard to navigate. Review a list of the most widely read blogs on the Internet, and you’ll find they have something in common — they all have simple designs with high levels of usability.

Voluntary

You should blog because you want to, not because you think you have to. If you start a corporate blog just because people say you should, it will lack the heartfelt enthusiasm that’s a hallmark of great blogs. (See ‘E’ for enthusiasm above.)

Wise

Your corporate blog is the ideal place to share your wisdom about your industry. This will help you position yourself as an authority in your field, and will also help foster the trust that’s mentioned under the letter ‘T’ above. Show people what you know about your industry, but do it in a conversational way. A “tip of the day” series is a prime example of this. It’s a great way to share your wisdom, and it’s the kind of thing others will link to if it’s full of useful content or advice.

Xstensible

Okay, so I cheated with this letter. But blogs are certainly extensible (and you try to come up with a good adjective starting with ‘X’). Corporate blogs, business blogs, CEO blogs — any blog — can grow as the company grows. You can add additional authors, additional sections, whatever you need. And it doesn’t require and act of the I.T. gods to get it done. By design, blogging programs are meant to be extensible.

Yours

If you ask me, anonymous blogs are not blogs at all … just plain old websites. A corporate blog can have one author or several authors, but it should be somebody’s blog. It should be yours, or his and hers, or all of yours. Somebody needs to own it. Otherwise, nobody will trust what it has to say.

Zippy

The definition of zippy is “lively and full of energy.” These are great traits for a corporate blogs. Some people equate the word “corporate” with “dull.” Show them otherwise. Inject your personality. Show them the passion you have for your industry. That’s the only thing that will keep them coming back.

* You may republish this article online if you retain the author’s byline and the active hyperlinks below.

About the Author
Brandon Cornett is the publisher of CEO Blog Watch and the author of a new blogging guide. Download your copy of the blogging guide by visiting http://www.ceoblogwatch.com

So you are interested in the world of politics but do not know where to find a good daily politics blog. In this article I will provide you with the best method for finding the blogs you want to read. I will not tell you what to read, I will tell you how to find a political blog you want to read -one that suits your specific tastes.

If you know essentially nothing about the world of political blogging you should understand a few things right off the bat.

Firstly, a daily politics blog can come in one of two forms. The first type is the kind most people probably think a political blog looks like. It is the “personal blog”. It is made by one individual. The second type is the corporate type. It is like a company as it has several writers or “contributors” who make up the daily blog into what is very similar to an online newspaper.

Secondly, the thing you need to know right away upon entering the politics blog universe is that the vast majority of political blogs are biased or at least “lean” one way or another -they are opinionated news. There are however many politics blogs that take a non-partisan or neutral approach to their blogging. Remember, this kind of blog might be articulating a point of view just like partisan blogs.

Finally, the most important thing to do, in my opinion, is to do research on the political blogs you start reading. If the blog is a personal one try to understand where they are coming from. If the blog is a corporate one look them up on Wikipedia. See who owns them and possibly which way they “lean” (left or right for instance).

Alright, so now that you are schooled in spotting blog types and their content you can start searching for a great daily politics blog.

I suggest you immediately figure out what kinds of political blogs you want to follow before you start following them. You should have an idea of what you are trying to accomplish by reading a blog online. Are you trying to educate yourself? Are you looking for other people who will articulate your shared positions on politics? Or maybe you want to act like a media analyst by looking at daily politics blogs on both sides of the political spectrum!

Whatever you are looking for and wherever you might be on the political spectrum, there is really only one final step to finding a great blog you can follow every day and it involves Google.

Search Google for the words “politics blog” (or blogs) or “political blogs” (or blogs) while combining a word that specifies exactly what kind of material you want to see. For example, if you are a life long Republican in the United States you might want to put “conservative” or “Republican” in front of politics blog. If you are a centrist you might want to type “moderate” or “centrist” at the beginning. What you put in addition to the first words is up to you and will depend on your political views.

Using Google is the best way for newbies to get settled in to the political blogging world as the first page results are usually the more established personal and corporate blogs. Since so many mainly personal political blogs die in their first year (people just stop writing), using Google is the ideal first step. Keep in mind you can use other search engines but Google superior in my humble opinion.

Happy reading!

The author of this article, Tyler, is a political enthusiast and writer of a politics blog who has reported on the unemployment rate by Canadian provinces.

To exasperate means to “stir up”. To frustrate, vex, annoy or make angry. There might be battles, children with parents; there might be struggles within. If we find that we are warring with our children – fighting battles with them on the home front, or if we see signs of unhappiness, or difficulty, we might discover that one or more of these 30 Ways is the cause:

1. Physical Abuse

Nobody would argue that harsh physical abuse is a one way ticket to a broken child, but physical abuse is so much broader. It ranges in anything from violent beating to repeated hitting. Parental authority should never be abusive. No child should ever be subjected to cruel punishment. Physical violence has no place in the family. A parent needs to ask themselves what their discipline accomplishes and be concerned about the after affects. No child should feel frightened or abandoned, or that they are inherently wicked.

There is a very strong argument that says that there should never be a raised hand to a child – be it a spanking, a caning, use of the hair-brush or slipper.

Being sent to boarding school, I was subjected to corporal punishment, several times subjected to the cane and leather strap. There are some who have the, “it didn’t do me any harm” view, but I can not subscribe to that. It did me a lot of harm, affecting my self-esteem and my view of authority. I harboured feelings of resentment and revenge. In my young mind I wouldn’t have cared if some of those masters had met an untimely demise. This is not a feeling I would want any child to have to deal with.

2. Verbal Abuse

Words Are Powerful. The written word carries much weight, but the spoken word is extremely powerful. Words can embolden and strengthen – but words can also cut like knives. When there is little thought given to how words might affect a child, we could be in danger of saying things which could harm our young ones. Given the more definitive list of fractious words that gain entry to these 30 Ways, this point is somewhat broader. It might include the snarled “Come on!” to the child lagging behind, the hissed “Shut up!” to a child who is too loud for comfort. The gradual wearing down of a little one’s spirit, the relentless chip, chip, chipping away at their self-esteem. The Chinese speak of Death By A Thousand Cuts, and verbal abuse in all its forms could result in the decline of out children’s self worth and desire.

I wonder whether this would include words said in jest, or teasing. If a young child declares, “I want to be a surgeon,” is she met with, “You can’t even cut the bread straight. Did you not see the mess you made of the play dough?” Or the young boy who dreams, “I want to be a fireman!” Is he ribbed, “But you can’t even hit the toilet!” Surely these would be examples of taking away a child’s hopes and dreams, and that is not something we, as parents, would want to do.

Perhaps it is best if jokes are left in the playground. A child needs to return home to a safe haven, knowing that everything said at school can be taken light-heartedly because, at least at home, Mum and Dad believe in me.

In summary: A parent who uses abusive and hurtful speech may raise an angry child, who in turn may grow up to become an adult full of rage. I don’t think anyone would argue that children who are continually screamed at and subjected to psychological indignities, emotionally battered and constantly criticized are having their spirit destroyed.

3. Name-calling

Surely it would be best for parents to refrain from calling their children names. Idiot, dolt, clot, chump, stupid and names of this sort are the mental equivalent of water torture. It might be funny to begin with, but before long it begins to irritate, then aggravate, then anger. I also wonder whether some terms of endearment might be guarded against. Names that we think of as affectionate, might be too much for children to bear. Prince or Princess – more especially, “My Prince/Princess” – terms that might become a habit for us, can begin to irk. I said to my daughter, “Hey, Gorgeous,” and, at two-and-a-bit, she replied, “I’m not gorgeous.” For me, I had to take that seriously, not question it, or argue it, just cut back or refrain.

It made me think that we need to be careful of terms that we understand, but are alien to our children, or terms that might be misunderstood. I still remember being called “pointy-head”. I have lived with it for years. Only recently I looked it up, and it discovered that it’s a reference to being intelligent. However, I know that it was one of those witty reverse-name type things, like when you call a tall child “Titch”. And even if it wasn’t, it doesn’t alter my perception of it. I wonder why a person should have to live with something as simple as name-calling for so long? It is evident to me that the names we call our children – even when we stop using them, can very easily be picked up and continued by them.

4. Labeling

Name-calling can easily turn into labeling. We should not underestimate the power of our words. Children may call each other “stupid” and know it is a joke, but when your mother, father or teacher calls you stupid, then you think it’s true because they ought to know. Labeling a child’s personality could be a factor in a teenager’s low self-esteem, depression and non-communication.

Is our child “lazy”, or “clumsy”, “shy”, or “sensitive”? Have we considered that we could be prompting a self-fulfilling prophecy? If we see our child in a particular role, then we could be inviting the danger of the child adopting the role by default

We might not label them to their face – a tragedy of great proportions – but if we see our child in that role, privately labeling them in some way, then it will make itself known in one way or another. Our child will pick up the vibes, the signals, and and this could cause them to begin to wilt under the branding.

5. Sarcasm

It has been called a sound barrier to learning. The trouble with sarcasm is its invitation to a stinging comeback. It might stir children to a preoccupation with revenge fantasies. There is confusion, resentment, a feeling of being made fun of. Are any of these mental challenges welcome in a family home?

6. Nagging

The connection has been made that parents who habitually make mountains out of molehills, nagging their children mercilessly about trivial matters, are inevitably going to have children who not only lie but are good at it. Habitual, long-winded, or cruel nagging rarely stops the children from doing the things they’re being nagged about. It could, however, stop the children from taking responsibility for their own actions.

This might include the relentless words of warning – every pen or pencil picked up is accompanied with the reminder not to write on walls, or not to run with it. Every plug socket is dangerous, every radiator and oven is hot, every step taken is with a charge to “be careful”. Perhaps, all a child is thinking is “nag, nag, nag, nag, nag, nag, nag.”

If we have a nagging suspicion that we are nagging – we probably are.

7. Threats and Bribery

“If…then…”, “Wait ’til your father gets home.” Predictions on how a child will turn out if they pursue a certain course. “You’ll never get anywhere with grades like that.” “You’ll never if you…”, “If you carry on behaving like that you’ll end up in prison.” Promising a child a beating or some other punishment. Counting – to whatever number – is perceived as a threat. Threats are very likely to be met with the defiant retort – spoken or not – “Let’s see you try.”

Bribery is the promise of some reward if something is accomplished. Sweets for good behaviour. The problem with this could be the child only doing something because of the promise of reward. The added danger of “If…” is the message it sends: “I don’t think you can.” This might, in turn, lead to a child’s doubting their own abilities.

Above all, a child should never be threatened with abandonment. It can be too easy to let slip, “Okay, well you stay here then. We’re going.” Or jokingly, “Right, I’m calling the removal people, and they will come and take you away.” Threats like this unnecessarily draw on a child’s fear of being abandoned.

8. Blaming and Accusing

“You’re always answering back”, “you never listen”, “You are a real embarrassment to me.” Phrases like these could encourage an atmosphere of blame and accusation. They focus on the individual, rather than the problem to be addressed.

Blaming and accusing would also include those questions which could be described as The Invitation To Lie: The parent knows the answer to something, yet they ask their child about it to see what answer they get. It can be confusing and irritating for a young one to be faced with this no-win situation. “Who did it?” is also a question which rarely has a satisfactory outcome.

9. Fault-finding, Being Overly Critical

When our child makes an effort at something, do we first point out the flaws? When the child puts on their own shoes: “Oh, you’ve got them on the wrong feet.” Every defect must be highlighted. The child successfully feeding themselves is told, “Look at you, you’ve got it all down your front, you messy little thing.” The result could be children who are frightened of taking any kind of spontaneous action, helpful included, because they worry that their parents will find some fault in what they have done. They might be criticized, or even punished. Criticism by parents might lead to deep-seated insecurity, or play a part in developing a child’s shyness.

10. Rules, Rules, and More Rules

Do we have rules for everything? Rules which then have to be adhered to, repeated and barked. Rules which tie down and constrain. Rules which have to be explained and numbered. Rules which make living at home seem like living under a dictatorship, under the family society. Already I feel hemmed in and unable to breath. At the same time, children need boundaries, which means that their parents need to set rules and sometimes enforce these rules by discipline. Even so, children must be helped progressively to see the underlying reason for these rules: their parents love them.

11. Praise

It seems as though praise of any kind would be a good thing. However, broad, unspecific praise – “You are such a good boy”, “You are always so kind to your sister” – could result in tension and misbehaviour. A child may not be able to accept this kind of praise because his own idea of himself is quite different. Try it on yourself: “You’re a great father!” How do you deal with that? You didn’t feel so great when you snubbed your child because you wanted to complete some task, or you unthinkingly called him a name. And you know it probably won’t be the last time you do it. Now imagine a child trying to cope with those feelings.

On the other hand, a lack of praise can also lead to insecurity. Sometimes praising in a new way, or praising at all, can take a conscious re-education of the way we parents think and speak. We have to find a more insightful method of praise, one which draws attention to the child’s accomplishments, rather than his personality.

12. Comparing

Comparing to a sibling. Comparing to others at school. Comparing to ourselves as parents. The danger with making comparisons is that it can lead to competition, and experience tells us that intense competition can lead to physical symptoms, emotional troubles, anxiety and hostility. As parents, we want our homes to be havens from this kind of stress.

13. Ignoring Uniqueness

Ignoring uniqueness is not the same as comparing, but it is closely allied with it. It differs, though, in object. Wise parents likewise find ways to express appreciation for each child’s unique qualities, abilities, and accomplishments.

14. Not Respecting Their Struggle

One way to exasperate children is to fail to understand their daily problems and tests.

Growing up is hard work, learning how to do things, how to cope. When parents express how easy certain tasks are – even the ones easy for us, like buttoning a coat, or getting the lid off something – it can be exasperating for children. Homework is not that easy, learning to play the piano or guitar is not that easy.

15. Not Listening

Communication is a two-way discussion. Parents cannot really get to know their children’s needs unless they listen to them. If parents constantly tell children what to do without encouraging them to express themselves, their children may become less and less willing to communicate.

16. Being unreasonable

Are we flexible? Open to discussion? Can we be reasoned with, so that if a child feels that something is unfair, we are approachable and can reason on a matter, perhaps even changing our mind or making an exception to a rule. The inability to do this – the “my way or the highway” approach on all matters – is likely to cause warfare and rebellion in the house.

17. Silent Treatment

Sometimes we need to be silent. Sometimes we feel angry about something, and need moments of silence to collect our thoughts, or even to let the young child recognise that what they have said or done is unacceptable – it has caused a grievance. The danger comes when we use silence as a weapon. Filling the house with an unsettling atmosphere of power and fear.

18. Quick to Anger

Do we fly off the handle quickly? Are the children scared to do anything because of our wrath? Do they need to tiptoe around us lest they set us off?

19. Withholding Independence

Right from the start children naturally desire more independence. This manifests itself from a very early age – putting on their own shoes, taking off their coat, which may be painfully slow to the adult trying to get out the door. However, when a child is often prevented from engaging in activities and assuming responsibilities for which they are ready, this can lead to frustration and resentment

20. Unrealistically High Standards

Being constantly put down by a parent or being measured by unrealistically high standards can be exasperating for children. The inability to live up to high parental expectations could cause significant loss of self-esteem. Our children need to feel it is safe to come to us when they have failed at something, or when something is making them unhappy.

21. Over-permissiveness

Parents must be fair and set good examples, but children need regulations and discipline. A growing child needs a sense of boundaries and limits. If parents condone wrongdoing in their children, they are bound to lose the children’s respect. As parents, we may later find that we have compromised the line of communication.

22. Lack of Headship

When the father – or other significant adult – lives up to his responsibility, the whole family is drawn closer together and strengthened. When parents give in to children, or rely too much on their child’s giving of love, if they are scared of losing their child’s love and affection, or if they are scared of upsetting them, the child might end up assuming the position of head of the house, “ruling the roost”, as it were. It is a position the child does not want and emotionally cannot handle.

23. Inconsistent Discipline

This can consist of disciple that bears little or no relation to the crime being punished – it might include the naughty step, or naughty chair. It can include meting out discipline for a misdemeanour one time, and then not doing so when the same thing is repeated. It does not mean we cannot listen to our child, and our instincts, and sometimes make an exception.

24. Public Discipline

Punishment by ridicule before friends makes the child downhearted, even hostile. It is embarrassing and annoying for children to be disciplined in front of people, the danger being that it is done for the benefit of onlookers rather than the child. As parents we do not want to be viewed as “letting them get away with it” and this is a moment that can tax our determination not to expose our child to public shame and humiliation.

Demanding good manners in a public forum can be demeaning to children, and an affront – “Say ‘Thank You’ to Auntie (Whoever)” or “What do you say?” Of course, we want our children to be polite, so this is another challenging area for parents.

Chastising children in front of their friends, reminding them about an assignment, finger-wagging, can all be terribly embarrassing for a youngster.

25. Hypocrisy

It is irritating and frustrating for children to be told that they should be kind and considerate, and yet they see their parents argue, gossip, act rudely, or get easily upset. Can they be blamed if they act in the same manner? Children can spot hypocrisy from a long way. They are not so young that they cannot spot double standards in adults. As an example: The grown-up who smokes, but fumes when they discover their child smoking.

26. Self-righteousness

This invitation to battle is closely allied with hypocrisy. How can it fail to be. When we demand certain standards we will soon find ourselves unable to meet them. Self-righteousness shows itself in parents ability to lecture and moralise. Going on and on about something. Needing to appear as if we never do a thing wrong, and yet pointing out wrong-doing in others. A self-righteous attitude may not be demonstrated against our children, but if they hear us speaking in a self-righteous way about others this might have a detrimental effect.

27. Passive Aggression

This emotion can often be seen when we act against our better judgment. Then we have pent up feelings of anger which seep out into our activities. We might say we’ll do something when we don’t feel like it, and then sabotage efforts to get ready. Or allow the irritation to build up within us, until it explodes into something else entirely. A good rule of thumb: We can be a little bit nicer than we feel, but not much.

28. Absenteeism

If we disappear from our children’s lives, if our job routinely takes us away from the family home for days, weeks or months, we cannot be surprised that our children will react negatively. Not only will we exasperate them but we may well undermine their self-worth, making them feel unloved and unlovable.

29. Lack of Self-Control

A lack of self-control is not just seen in an ability to get angry quickly, reacting to the merest hint of wrong-doing. It is not only seen in an overindulgence in alcohol or some other habit. A lack of self-control can be seen in a variety of areas, it manifests itself as a general character trait. Self-control is the ability to say “no” to yourself, to be self-disciplined. The parent who lacks self-control, cannot be surprised if he has a child who resists discipline.

30. Spiritual Neglect

Children are curious. They want answers. At some point, they are going to want answers to the big questions in life: “Who are we? Why are we here? What is the purpose of life?” Parents who avoid these questions, or show that such things are unimportant to them, could find themselves with difficulty at home, especially through the teenage years, when young adults are at their most vulnerable.

Further Reading

Between Parent & Child and Between Parent & Teenager Dr Haim G Ginott

Liberated Parents, Liberated Children and How To Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk by Adele Faber & Elaine Mazlish.

Rory Sullivan writes Hamelife [http://hamelife.com], a website dedicated to helping parents negotiate the unpredictable waters of parent-child communication. With the 30 Ways at its heart, Hamelife encourages parents to avoid exasperating their children by embracing empathy, respect, and patience.

Pets can get very expensive and as a pet owner you need all the help you can get. You don?t have to spend too much to get the best for your darling animals – with a little perseverance and a lot of research, you can save big on quality brands of pet medicines, food and other supplies. Here are some tips to get you started.

Get pet supply coupons. Clip them off pet magazines, get them online, or ask for them from pet supply stores. Coupons will get you huge discounts on pet medications, toys and basic accessories such as collars and leads. Some of these coupons also allow you to get freebies if you buy a minimum amount.

Join consumer and shopping clubs. Membership in these organizations entitles you to cumulative discounts on pet supplies. Some clubs even allow you to use the “points” you accumulate from buying other things (such as furniture and clothes) to get freebies, huge markdowns and even cash back on pet supplies.

Try the Internet. There are hundreds of online coupons you can use if you are buying from participating online pet supply stores. Or, you can enter contests and win prizes for your pets.

Some notes. Pet experts say that while it is always nice to get discounts on pet supplies, you should not scrimp on pet food. Remember that a lot of pet ailments are caused by dietary imbalances that can be prevented if you just feed your pet premium food. Good quality pet food promotes better pet health, which you can readily see in your pet’s increased energy and more attractive appearance (a shinier coat in the case of dogs). You will end up saving a lot of money if your pet is healthy, because you don’t have to buy expensive medications and go to the vet as often.

Pet Supplies provides detailed information on Pet Supplies, Pet Supply Stores, Discount Pet Supplies, Online Pet Supplies and more. Pet Supplies is affiliated with Wholesale Pet Products [http://www.i-PetProducts.com].